G.I. Joe: Retaliation Review – America: F*ck Yeah!


Director: Jon M. Chu

Writer: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick 

Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis, Channing Tatum, Adrianne Palicki


Release date: March 28th, 2013

Distributors: Paramount Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Country: USA

Running time: 110 minutes


3/5

Best Part: Willis and Johnson

Worst Part: RZA as the blind master

Hollywood’s latest trend has been to adapt cartoons and toy franchises into big-budget movies. Toy company Hasbro is rolling in cash after the commercial success of the Transformers films and Battleship. However, commercial success doesn’t guarantee quality. Arguably, the best films with the Hasbro name on them are the G.I. Joe flicks. G.I. Joe: Retaliation is the better of the two, but that’s still not saying much.

Dwayne Johnson.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation is silly yet enjoyable. The plot, such as it is, is a lot saner than I thought it would be. It starts off with Duke (Channing Tatum) and Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) enjoying military life as members of the G.I. Joe Unit. They save countless lives, defeat super-villains with ease, and lap up everything at their disposal. However, their time spent protecting the Earth is about to hit a huge, ahem, roadblock. On a mission to reclaim nuclear arms in Pakistan, they are attacked by the vicious underground military unit known as Cobra. The attack was organised by none other than the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce). As announced rather hastily in the trailer, the president is not who he seems. The only Joes left alive after the attack are Roadblock, Snake Eyes (Ray Park), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), and Flint (D.J. Cotrona). Teaming up with the original G.I. Joe member, General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis), the remaining Joes must track down those responsible and bring them to justice.

Snake Eyes.

The original cartoon was designed to advertise the hugely popular action figures. Let’s make one thing clear; both live-action films are just as stupid and flawed as the original material. They are low-brow in every sense. The thing that makes them better than the other Hasbro flicks is their sense of humour. Both films wink at the audience. It’s as if everyone involved is aware of the franchise’s silly premise, catch phrases, and iconography. The first G.I. Joe flick, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, was an ultra-dumb yet fun cartoon in live action form. It was essentially Team America: World Police without the satirical edge or marionettes. It reached for Transformers success without understanding anything about story or character consistency. Its sequel gives the franchise a facelift. This pseudo-reboot gets rid of the original’s ultra-shiny and unconvincing special effects to deliver a rollicking thrill-ride. Gone are the accelerator suits, advanced laser-weapons and ice palaces. Here, we get a cross between the original and grittier ensemble action flicks such as Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and The A-Team. For the most part, the settings, costumes and gun-fights in G.I. Joe: Retaliation are tangible. Machine guns and camouflage army outfits suit this interpretation of G.I. Joe. This style may draw a larger crowd to this ridiculous franchise.

Cobra Commander & Storm Shadow.

This movie diverts from the crass and unessential elements of the Transformers films and Battleship. Unlike those movies, G.I. Joe: Retaliation knows what it is and doesn’t try to exceed its grasp. It revels in its predictable ‘men on a mission’ story without becoming jingoistic or insulting. Unlike the original, there are no unnecessary romantic sub-plots, predictable revelations, or awkward familial ties between characters. Here, it’s a revenge flick driven by both its action set pieces and spy narrative. The action set pieces are, of course, why the average Joe (du dun chh!) would want to see this movie. Thankfully, they don’t disappoint. Director Jon M. Chu (Step Up 2 the Streets, Step Up 3D) utilises his talents to master these set pieces. His handling of choreography and movement brings fluidity and exhilaration to each action scene. Thankfully, he avoids quick cuts and shaking cameras. The film’s best set piece is shown in many of the trailers. The ninja fight across the mountain face is a lot more exciting and vertigo-inducing than expected. Unfortunately, the action sequences past this point are anti-climactic.

“In the immortal words of Jay-Z: “Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don’t let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I’d accept my fate.”” (Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), G.I. Joe: Retaliation).

Bruce Willis & Adrianne Palicki.

The witty script, by Zombieland writers Rhett Reece and Paul Wernick, saves this film. The iconic elements of the G.I. Joe franchise are subtly and fondly peppered throughout this film. The all-important Joe characters shine on screen. Roadblock is a nice addition to this series. He is given a greater back-story than expected. He also becomes the strong leader needed in a time of crisis. Dwayne Johnson’s physique and natural charm stand out here. The original Joe’s inclusion was also a nice surprise. Willis brings his dry wit to an otherwise straight-faced role. Palicki and Cotrona liven up their one dimensional characters. However, faring poorly is former Wu-Tang Clan member RZA. He is laughable as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow’s master, sporting both white-tipped facial hair and a strange accent. Asian actor Byung-Hun Lee does the best he can with some of the film’s worst dialogue. Except for Pryce’s ego-maniacal president character, the villains are uninteresting. The Cobra Commander and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) are over the top. You begin to miss the Joes whenever they aren’t on screen.

If you are willing to suspend disbelief, then you may enjoy G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Aided by the charisma of Willis and Johnson, the film is a non-stop thrill-ride. This film has its problems (e.g. too many silly code names), but it understands just how preposterous this franchise is.

Verdict: A silly yet enjoyable sequel.

Battleship Review – Battle: Pacific Ocean


Director: Peter Berg

Writers: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber

Stars: Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, Rhianna


Release date: May 18th, 2012

Distributor: Universal Pictures

Country: USA

Running time: 131 minutes


 

2/5

 Best part: The first action sequence.

Wort part: The jingoistic flair.

Starting off by saying Hollywood is out of ideas is obvious when applying that statement to Battleship. With a ridiculous concept in creating a special effects extravaganza based on the popular yet plotless board game of the same name, It makes you wonder what Hollywood may decide to adapt next. This film provides some visual stimulus but little beyond that to satisfy either film aficionados or even fans of the classic board game itself.

Taylor Kitsch & Tadanobu Asano.

Taylor Kitsch & Tadanobu Asano.

We begin our descent into nostalgia and mind numbing stupidity with renegade and good for nothing slacker Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) and his brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgard); celebrating a birthday, family ties and Naval prowess. When Hopper tries to impress Samantha (Brooklyn Decker) and ends up breaking the law, he is forced by Stone to join him in the Navy. We then join them in full uniform and unlimited egotism as the annual Naval war games between the USA and Japan get under way in Hawaii. Due to scientists sending a signal to a planet much like ours in another galaxy, a strange cluster of objects fall out of the sky and into the Pacific Ocean. Disrupting the fleets in action, this alien group reigns war upon them and threatens the imminent destruction of mankind. Its now up to misfit Hopper and a sole Naval fleet to set aside differences and save the world from an overwhelming enemy.

Rhianna.

Rhianna.

Battleship is a prime example of the slapdash effort both directors and screenwriters put into blockbusters such as this each year. With the Transformers sequels and Battle: Los Angeles also suffering from major script and directorial failings, providing nothing more than a cash grab for a general audience is becoming more noticeable with each one of these cliche sci-fi action flicks. Peter Berg (The Kingdom, Hancock), who should be able to provide a convincing level of flair as acclaimed director Michael Mann’s protege, leaves behind entertaining characters and clever moments of comedy seen particularly in Welcome to the Jungle in order to achieve the conventional. This film may stand as one of the most generic blockbusters in recent memory. Even when looking down the cast list we see the who’s who of popular culture, several trying to make a name for themselves in one way or another. First off, Kitsch, fresh from the recent fantasy adventure epic John Carter, provides his usual emotionless delivery for another bland lead character role. While pop-star Rhianna, essentially playing Vasquez from Aliens, is unable to hold off her Caribbean accent when spouting several of the film’s many unnecessary one liners. Also suffering is an unconvincing Brooklyn Decker as Hopper’s girlfriend and soon to be fiancee. While phoning it in is Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane, who seems wasted in a role involving little more than a glorified cameo.

“We are going to die. You’re going to die, I’m going to die, we’re all going to die… just not today.” (Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), Battleship).

 One of many Naval battles.

One of many Naval battles.

In their defence however, the dialogue throughout is solely based on endless references to Sun Tsu’s The Art of War, corny speeches proclaiming America’s ability to do anything and eye-rollingly tedious one liners. Battleship‘s moments of comedy fall flat and border on offensive; particularly when providing a one sided view of the Japanese. While the jingoistic view of American accomplishment is irritatingly pumped into this film, along with the unsubtle commercialisation of the Navy and Marine Corps. Loving shots of naval vessels and obvious metaphors for peace created by the US try too hard to convey a flag waving subtext. The noisy, special effect driven action sequences may look beautiful, but fail to provide any real creativity. Buildings fall down, people are needlessly killed in large quantities, free ways are crushed by Transformer-esque alien burrowers and battleships fire endlessly at alien spacecraft while being fired upon themselves. This repetitive and monotonous level of destruction does however start off promising. The first battleship sequence, one of few elements resembling anything from the board game, is choreographed, paced and photographed to create a thrilling 10 minute fight to the death against overwhelming and unknown odds. The aliens themselves, despite possessing some of the weirdest spiky beards in memory, are one dimensional at best. Their Halo-like jumpsuits along with conventional grey, slimy designs provide an uninteresting enemy for our heroes to bravely face.

With Hollywood scrambling for ideas, we’ve reached the point where Battleship is the biggest blockbuster on the menu. Sinking the director, cast, and Universal Pictures, this bomb destroys all the ships on the board!

Verdict: A mind-numbing and excessive blockbuster.